you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
