I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Randomize
