Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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