Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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