...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
