Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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