I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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