My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
