You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
