During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
