you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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