That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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