Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
