All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
There r osticjed everywhere
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
