I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
