It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
