The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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