I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
