probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
