i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
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took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
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How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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