Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
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