I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize