i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
only you would photoshop your dick
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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