I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
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