Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
