Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize