waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
