1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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