Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
