just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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