Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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