Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
