I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
