Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
