I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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