You made me cry and you don't even care
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He better not be in your backpack
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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