he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
