The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize