She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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