the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
