I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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