did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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