You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
