I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
