from now on my penis is your penis
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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