No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I touched a dick in church today
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
