Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
