with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
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if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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