I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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