Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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