Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize