There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I party with great urgency now.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
