They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
do herpes really smell.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
