Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize