AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
