We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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