No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
