they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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