help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
