Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
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Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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